MY FIRST FOUR UNPUBLISHED NOVELS

  1. My Father's Business, 1987
    I'd just decided not to go into my father's business in order to become a writer so writing about my father's business made perfect sense. Editors admired the 'energy' of the writing.
  2. The Boy/Girl Thing
    A collection of connected stories about Joe and Jeena and their tumultuous relationship. No one was really interested in it. Joe was not a great boyfriend: Jeena walked in on him giving oral sex to another woman and he tried to tell her it was just a friendly foot rub.
  3. New Boy
    About an orphan who attaches himself to a lovely family and destroys them all. The final scene shows him walking through a wall of fire -- the house of the family he destroyed, which burns down. He's like, evil, man. Very powerful, editors who rejected it said.
  4. WeatherGirl
    Semi-autobiographical novel about a guy who has a huge crush on the TV Weathergirl (what we called them back then). Stuff happens.
  5. I just remembered: I have three other books no one published.
  6. p.s. All of these novels had agents attached who tried to sell them.
  7. All of these books are really really bad. I'm very happy no one will ever read them.
  8. It took me14 years to write a book anyone wanted to give me money for.
  9. Most writers have similar stories. I think.