I Am Stuck on a Plane, on a Runway, Headed to Comic-con

As my mother would say, I can't have nuthin nice. Not even just taking off on time.
  1. We are at JFK. Like, figure out the effing runway situation, people. YOU ARE J-EFFING-K.
  2. It's easily 85 degrees in this piece. That little blower thing is doing nothing for my man-sized body.
  3. I want to read my book. But I don't want to. And that's torturing each of the voices in my head.
  4. I wonder how many of you fine list people are going to Comic-Con. Maybe you are on this very plane.
  5. Are you the lady next to me? If so, tell your husband I like his hat. And tell yourself that I'm not a dick, I just kindly don't want to talk about your vacation.
  6. And also I don't believe that you didn't remember it was #Comic-Con in your hometown of San Diego, Chatty Lady.
  7. How is it possible that American Airlines hasn't put a TV at every seat in every plane yet?
  8. I had a pre-boarding martini, which was delicious but now I either need another one or I guess I could try to sleep.
  9. Or read. 🙀
  10. We haven't moved an inch.
  11. OMG. We just did. Is there secret powers on this app?
  12. As a kid I read this book like a million times where these kids found something in their grandparents' attic that when they knocked on it three times they got any wish they wanted. I spent most of that summer knocking on anything I could get my little knuckles on.
  13. If any of you know that book and its name and tell me, I will find you and kiss you. I've wondered for years what it was.
  14. I texted my friend who is a few rows ahead of me and she told me the lady next to her opened a whole array of Chinese food and the broccoli smelled like a "terd."
  15. I know it's "turd." But I do enjoy her exotic spelling.
  16. I then asked if there were cold sesame noodles and she texted back that she was going to punch me in the throat. I'm hungry. Jeez. And I love me a cold noodle.
  17. We are slowly crawling to our spot on the runway.
  18. I really want to open a franchise of gay bars in airports called "Runways." You know you would go.
  19. There's a dinging sound. And we moved again. Sorta. So I'm gonna go read. 🙀.
  20. I mean sleep.
  21. Or maybe read.
  22. 🙀