Failed Hamburger Toppings
We can't all be lettuce and tomato. Let's take a look at some of the ingredients that missed the final cut. (Completely fabricated)
- •CucumbersWe decided that lettuce is plenty crunch for a burger. However, pickle those cucumbers and you got a whole new ballgame.
- •ToastWhoever thought of this one forgot about the buns I guess. Toast is dumb on a burger.
- •Hot SauceYou have to open your mouth pretty wide to fit a burger. And if your lips are chapped they can crack with every bite. Add hot sauce to the equation and you've got salt in an open wound.
- •Ranch DressingThis actually picked up steam in the early 1800s when mustard was more of a delicacy. Once mustard gained popularity, ranch was kicked to the curb.
- •IceWait, ice? You read correctly. You may think that ice on a burger would melt. It does.
- •WaterAfter the ice burgers melted they decided to just submit the wet burgers instead.
- •CashewsStill too much crunch. Also with so many nut allergies out there, we don't need another food people need to be wary of.
- •Hard-boiled EggsLess burger-friendly than their fried counterparts, hard-boiled eggs make for a much tougher burger eating experience.
- •Fried RiceActually they still do this in China.
- •PotatoWhether it be wedges, tots, or mashed potatoes, some guy in Dublin was hell-bent on getting potatoes on a burger. While ultimately unsuccessful, we credit him for making fries the unofficial side for burger meals everywhere (except China).
- •Apple SlicesThis is one instance where apples' pizzazz is its undoing. We settled on the far more boring tomato and its zesty niece, ketchup.
- •Popcorn KernelsHear me out: mash a few popcorn kernels into the patty and when you cook it, they pop! Sounds too good to be true, right? Well it might not be. This list isn't real. Someone try it.
- •KaleCalifornia is getting ridiculous. No burger enthusiast is health-conscious enough to eat kale.
- •TurnipsNot bad! But there simply isn't room for 3 veggies on a burger. Bronze ain't bad though.