Failed Hamburger Toppings

We can't all be lettuce and tomato. Let's take a look at some of the ingredients that missed the final cut. (Completely fabricated)
  1. Cucumbers
    We decided that lettuce is plenty crunch for a burger. However, pickle those cucumbers and you got a whole new ballgame.
  2. Toast
    Whoever thought of this one forgot about the buns I guess. Toast is dumb on a burger.
  3. Hot Sauce
    You have to open your mouth pretty wide to fit a burger. And if your lips are chapped they can crack with every bite. Add hot sauce to the equation and you've got salt in an open wound.
  4. Ranch Dressing
    This actually picked up steam in the early 1800s when mustard was more of a delicacy. Once mustard gained popularity, ranch was kicked to the curb.
  5. Ice
    Wait, ice? You read correctly. You may think that ice on a burger would melt. It does.
  6. Water
    After the ice burgers melted they decided to just submit the wet burgers instead.
  7. Cashews
    Still too much crunch. Also with so many nut allergies out there, we don't need another food people need to be wary of.
  8. Hard-boiled Eggs
    Less burger-friendly than their fried counterparts, hard-boiled eggs make for a much tougher burger eating experience.
  9. Fried Rice
    Actually they still do this in China.
  10. Potato
    Whether it be wedges, tots, or mashed potatoes, some guy in Dublin was hell-bent on getting potatoes on a burger. While ultimately unsuccessful, we credit him for making fries the unofficial side for burger meals everywhere (except China).
  11. Apple Slices
    This is one instance where apples' pizzazz is its undoing. We settled on the far more boring tomato and its zesty niece, ketchup.
  12. Popcorn Kernels
    Hear me out: mash a few popcorn kernels into the patty and when you cook it, they pop! Sounds too good to be true, right? Well it might not be. This list isn't real. Someone try it.
  13. Kale
    California is getting ridiculous. No burger enthusiast is health-conscious enough to eat kale.
  14. Turnips
    Not bad! But there simply isn't room for 3 veggies on a burger. Bronze ain't bad though.