WHAT TO SAY WHEN SOMEONE ASKS YOU ABOUT THE LONG WEEKEND

  1. Break was good.
  2. Ate some turkey.
  3. Drank some wine.
  4. Took a nap.
  5. Ate leftovers.
  6. Masturbated in my childhood bedroom.
  7. Shut the fuck up when you talk to me. I've grown weary of my time on this mortal coil.