USELESS SUPERPOWERS

Lauren and I started this list two years ago. We even made a Twitter account we were convinced would catapult us into novelty account fame- but, well. (@dumbsuperpowrs)
  1. The ability to smell lettuce.
  2. The ability to turn wine into water.
  3. The ability to speak in any foreign language, as long as nobody else who speaks the language is there.
  4. The ability to turn your burps into farts.
  5. The ability to time travel and age accordingly.
  6. The ability to walk on water.
    It would still take a long time to cross oceans, it would be lonely, you would have to take off your shoes and socks every time, water-dwelling creatures could attack the soles of your feet, and everyone would think you were showing off after a while.
  7. The ability to turn invisible...to only yourself.
    Suggested by   @moonjockey