WHY I'M NOT MY DAD

  1. The third season of Girls wasn't "too much" for me
  2. No one ever called me "the white Morgan Freeman"
  3. He's 6'2"; I'm... not.
  4. Glaring lack of Midwestern politeness
  5. Have yet to "focus on the positive"
  6. Not always dressed for golf
    Except when I'm home
  7. Much prefer company of my mom's friends
  8. I'm pretty fucking sure I wouldn't have voted for Reagan
  9. I don't have the generosity of spirit to forgive that
    He does. I'm working on it.