Last year I had the awesome Apple Cabin Foods calendar hanging by my desk at work, and it brought me much happiness and delight. Nothing will ever quite replace that treasure, but maybe these imaginary calendars would come close.
  1. Classic Stars of Ukrainian Professional Wrestling
    The beardier the better.
  2. Bettie Page wearing everyday clothes and doing her taxes
    Every single month is her sitting at a desk and looking thoughtfully at a ledger.
  3. Abandoned Motels of West Virginia
    The perfect blend of banality and WTF.
  4. Famous Yacht Disasters
    I don't even care if it's just the empty patches of ocean where the boat sank.
  5. Barn Raisings the Amish Way
    is there any other way
  6. Puppets of Yesteryear
    The key is to disturb my coworkers, but not so much that they call the police.
  7. Famous eBay Cries for Help
    "For sale: childhood teddy bear. It used to mean a lot to me, but you know what, I'm giving up. Probably no one wants it, just like my parents never wanted me. Whatever, life is garbage. From smoke-free house."
  8. Twelve Months of Hussies
    These would be pictures of completely ordinary women doing office work, but there would be other women walking by or peeking over the cubicle wall and staring at them with sour, disapproving looks.
  9. Pictures of kittens in border patrol uniforms detaining undocumented ducklings wearing tiny sombreros.
    Offensive but adorable. I just want to see if anyone notices.
  10. Static
    Never forget