5 Things to Immediately Do with Your Tax Refund

  1. 1.
    Bribe security guards to let you walk naked through a zoo
  2. 2.
    Bail your mother out of jail
    attempted murder should only be half a crime amirite
  3. 3.
    Build a fort made of nickels
  4. 4.
    Hire a mariachi band to play for you while you eat chalupas at Taco Bell
  5. 5.
    Throw it all on the bed and roll around in it like a god damn tycoon