All the Movies I Saw in the Theater, 1997

I'm a list-keeper from way back. This was probably the peak of my obsession with going to the movies. And yet I've still never seen 1997's biggest movie all the way through.
  1. The People vs. Larry Flynt (1996)
    A decent flick. Does anyone remember it now?
  2. Beavis & Butthead Do America (1996)
    It was the thing to do at the time.
  3. Jerry Maguire (1996)
    Before Tom Cruise became icky. Do you remember when "show me the money" was a catchphrase? On second thought let's not remember that.
  4. My Fellow Americans (1996)
    So faint in the memory.
  5. Orson Welles: One Man Band
    There are an average of fourteen Orson Welles documentaries released per year and this was one of them. It was probably all about how he was a terrible filmmaker that nobody liked.
  6. Jackie Chan's First Strike
    I was obsessed with Jackie Chan after Supercop. I have a vague memory of being sick (or lazy) on the couch and watching three old Jackie Chan movies in a row.
  7. Les Voleurs (1996)
    Because Catherine Deneuve, obviously.
  8. Everyone Says I Love You (1996)
    Woody Allen. Don't even remember who was in it. I could look it up but that seems like a lot of work.
  9. La Cérémonie (1996)
    I've never heard of this movie, except I've seen it.
  10. Lost Highway
    This was the most freaked out I've ever been in a movie theater. I almost had to leave.
  11. Shine (1996)
    One of those actors' movies that the Oscars always have a big chubby boner for.
  12. Donnie Brasco
    I liked this one because it showed a very unglamorous side of the mafia. Definitely worth tracking down.
  13. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
    Made a metric shit-ton of money.
  14. Breakdown
    Oh yeah, this one … a low-budget thriller with Kurt Russell. Not bad, as I recall.
  15. Diary of a Seducer (1996)
    Holy shit, no memory AT ALL.
  16. Smilla's Sense of Snow
    It had that super-beautiful actress. And snow. People tried to make a big deal out of it but I recall it being a little boring.
  17. Children of the Revolution
    I remember this one because it was trying to be all edgy and clever and it was just embarrassingly bad.
  18. The Fifth Element
    This came from way out of left field and, holy shit, it blew me away! I remember that it actually felt like my whole body was buzzing when I left the theater. Yeah, I know it has some dorky and irritating bits, but this was amazing to see on the big screen. I might have even gone to see it twice.
  19. Con Air
    Once someone makes the hair dryer joke, you can't unthink it.
  20. Face/Off
    UGH. I was outraged by how absurd this movie was. There was this whole business about speedboats that defied all the laws of physics. Leave physics alone, you jerks!
  21. Men in Black
    The big summer blockbuster of that year.
  22. Temptress Moon
    Temptress Moon? No idea what you're talking about, 1997 Joe.
  23. Air Force One
    More summer blockbuster silliness. I'm pretty sure there was a plane in it.
  24. Event Horizon
    STILL the worst movie I've ever seen in the theater. I don't even want to talk about it.
  25. Ulee's Gold
    I wrote a little asterisk next to it which means I thought it was good. I just remember it had bees in it. Not killer bees, the regular kind.
  26. The End of Violence
    Was it, though?
  27. Hana-Bi
    I hated this movie! HATED IT! I wanted to punch this movie in the dick. A mopey police detective's wife is dying and there are all these maudlin scenes of her looking sad on a beach. I'm like, dammit, bitch, just die already! Then he goes out and kills forty gangsters. Still not as bad as Event Horizon, though. Nothing is as bad as Event Horizon.
  28. L.A. Confidential
    A great movie! Definitely in the top five for the year. Hey, did you hear that Curtis Hanson just died? That Russell Crowe kid, he could really have a career.
  29. The Apostle
    Robert Duvall. New York Film Festival. That's all I got.
  30. The Kingdom, Part 2
    Actually a fucked-up TV miniseries from Denmark that we watched in one five-hour sitting at the New York Film Festival. Yes, I am that HARD CORE. Does anyone know The Kingdom? Anyone?? DANISH SCUM!!!
  31. Fast, Cheap and Out of Control
    A neat documentary.
  32. Year of the Horse
    Neil Young & Crazy Horse concert film. There was this guy who was woo-ing and throwing his arms up and air-drumming. Really, dude? You know Neil can't see you, right?
  33. Boogie Nights
    HOLY SHIT. Still one of my favorite movies. Like, seriously, top twenty. Don't get me started. I'm not hyperventilating, you're hyperventilating!
  34. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
    Took place in New Orleans. Apparently forgettable otherwise.
  35. The Sweet Hereafter
    An excellent film about loss. Do people still remember this one? Man, there are just too many movies — it's so weird that one like this should fade into the background. I should watch it again sometime.
  36. Amistad
    Spielberg doing the historical thing. Apparently it didn't make much of a dent in the race relations problem. Fuck.
  37. Old movies I saw/saw again at Film Forum, AMMI, NYFF, et cetera:
    Dune, Star Wars Special Edition, Blue Velvet, The Graduate, The Empire Strikes Back Special Edition, The Return of the Jedi Special Edition, Robinson Crusoe, Nazarín, Das Boot, The Godfather, M, The Long Goodbye, Blade Runner, The Element of Crime, American Graffiti, The Saragossa Manuscript, In Cold Blood