I Like My Women How I Like My Coffee:
Inspired by @PeteOnEarth and only because everyone else is doing it. Also, I like my lists like I like my tattoos: trendy, attention-getting, and the result of poor judgment.
- •Handed to me across a counter and marked with my name.Already infuriating.
- •Sugary, rich, and bad for my heart.Your contempt is appropriate.
- •Spilled onto my lap while I'm driving.Dammit, I'm just trash now.
- •Respected, loved, and an important part of the global economy.Turning it around.
- •Not angry at me.Technically true, I would be terrified of a beverage with the capacity for human emotion.
- •It's all lies, I don't actually drink coffee.