Magazine May Edition: All About Vinyl

  1. As commissioned by @karlalucia, this list will instruct you on how to choose the right LP for your mood and lifestyle, while also incidentally giving you a tour of the fabulous Gola collection.
  2. Now, you might find yourself saying, "Joe, I'm not some sort of millionaire tycoon, how do I amass a library as wondrously spectacular as yours?"
  3. The process is simple, my friends: all you need to do is to be as old as balls and have been alive back when this was just an ordinary way to buy music.
    And also during the following time period when no one was buying vinyl and you could pick stuff up for just a few dollars each.
  4. Anyway, let's get started!
  5. Do you want the musical equivalent of the perfect ice cube dropping into a highball glass of golden mellow whiskey? Slip into a happening groove with Ol' Blue Eyes himself, Frank Sinatra. That is to say it swings!
    He's so cool he's partially transparent.
  6. If you like infectious Latin rhythms, and also superior sound reproduction, how about Casa Loma in HIGH FIDELITY? You'll hear every sassy little maraca shake and clarinet toot on this fine disc.
    Featuring the world famous Glen Gray and the Casa Loma Orchestra.
  7. You don't need blue suede shoes to dance to this little number.
    Formerly owned by my father. Fans of The Clash may notice something familiar about the cover design.
  8. Like to dance? I'd like to see you try to NOT dance when my pal Stasiu heats things up with his Polka magic! Stand up and shake your pierogis, you saucy thing!
    Pass the kapusta.
  9. Feeling brassy? Then wake up the neighborhood with feisty Tijuana-style trumpets and trombones, courtesy of Herb Alpert. And check out the album cover that has caused the most inconvenient record store erections in the history of modern music.
  10. If you're feeling two parts peppy and one part wistful, how about a 60s pop classic like the Kinks' Arthur?
    With lyrics insert shaped like Queen VicTOOOR-i-a, VicTOOOOOR-i-a, Victoria, 'toria!
  11. Are you the type of person who enjoys both 1970s electronic music and country standards like "Orange Blossom Special" and "Wildwood Flower"? Well guess what.
    Includes a moog version of "Yakety Sax".
  12. Connoisseurs of classical music will want to have something fancy on hand for their swank dinner parties and Spring cotillions — perhaps Frank Zappa's Lumpy Gravy?
    I hear you've been having trouble with pigs and ponies
  13. Want to be carried off to a sophisticated foreign land? Then why not enjoy the music from the 1958 World's Fair?
    Includes electronic music from the Netherlands pavilion by Edgar Varese. Oh I'm sorry did I just BLOW YOUR MIND
  14. British Invasion purist? How about the UK pressing of The Rolling Stones's Aftermath?
  15. Sure, everyone has a copy of Sticky Fingers with the real zipper…
  16. But what about a copy of the original Some Girls cover?
    Oh myyyyyy.
  17. Feeling folksy? Then why not give the rare 1975 Neil Young album On the Beach a spin?
    Wait, is that the one with the inside that matches the lawn furniture patterns on the front…?
  19. Prefer the excitement of live music? How about one of the greatest live albums of all time, The Who Live at Leeds?
    Yes, including all the fun little inserts! Oh, I'm sorry, are you feeling a little flushed? Can I get you a glass of water?
  20. Want to get your freak on? Maybe The Mothers of Invention's Burnt Weeny Sandwich will be just the right musical snack for you.
  21. Always a good idea to have some movie soundtracks on hand as well.
  22. Getting tired of all the splendor? Will it be too much to show you my copy of Led Zeppelin's In Through the Out Door with the original paper bag cover?
    I know you'd like to tug that down and see what's underneath but at least buy me dinner first.
  23. Are you too exhausted by pleasure to even notice my Concert for Bangladesh box, in perfect condition, with booklet??
    I paid a friend THREE DOLLARS for this.
  24. In short, vinyl collecting is a fun and educational hobby. Why not try it today?