Memorable Moments in Parenting

  1. That time the waiter in the Chinese restaurant put the bowl of dipping sauce within my infant son's reach
    no way a baby would grab that amirite
  2. The time my pukeaphobe wife was covered in barf.
    Comedy gold.
  3. The time I was changing my son's diaper and he pitched a heavy toy train right into my junk
    I still flinch at railroad crossings.
  4. The time he got a hold of the talcum powder and adorably ran around the house yelling "It's snowing! It's snowing!"
    And then you go on the internet and find out that you can't vacuum up talcum powder because it's too fine and just blows out the other end. Wait whaaaaaat
  5. "Why are there rocks in the bathtub?"
  6. "Why are all my Neil Young CDs in the back yard?"
    not a fan I guess
  7. The time I found clear evidence that he had been brushing his teeth while also at the same time eating a sandwich.
    Just think about that for a minute.