My Masculinity Report Card

Inspired by etc. etc. I know, who needs more guy stuff, but you don't have to read, it's cool, we're still friends.
  1. Sports Lore: F
    No interest.
  2. Vehicle Lore: F
    Sit down so that I may relate all the shits that I don't give about cars.
  3. Action Movie Lore: C
    I have not seen anything in the fast and/or furious genre.
  4. Handyman Skills: B-
    Okay, maybe a C+. This is the one grade I'm a little sensitive about.
  5. Yard Maintenance: C-
    I spend most of my yardwork energy keeping the invasive species in check. I have a laissez-faire attitude towards most other plants. My neighbors hate me.
  6. Basket Shooting: C+
  7. Golfing: D
  8. Talking About Golfing: F
  9. Outdoorsmanship: B+
    Willing to go camping at a moment's notice. Will catch many delicious trouts for you.
  10. Orienteering: C-
    I'm good when I have a map in front of me, but I get lost on a regular basis and no I will not stop to ask for directions it's a guy thing just deal with it.
  11. Driving Record: A
    I have had some passengers cry out in alarm but no tickets or accidents so just stop being babies already.
  12. Grilling: C+
    Your hamburger and hot dog will probably come out fine. No, I do not want to hear your secret dry rub recipe. I do not want that kind of responsibility.
  13. Calisthenics: B-
    Just sit-ups, push-ups, and hiking. I like to think that John Wayne would approve.
  14. Hammocking: A+
  15. Stoicism: A-
    Not a whiner. Sometimes requires care and handling relating to social anxiety.
  16. Gallantry: B
    I have never catcalled a woman. Women will not catch me checking out their boobs or behind. Will hold door open for a woman, unless she's kinda far off and not showing any hustle. Listening skills may need improvement.
  17. Attitude: A
    Not an alpha male, but comfortable taking charge when appropriate. Old enough and over it enough to not care what other men think when they're being judgmental dicks.
  18. Extra Credit:
    I own a machete and have used it to clear brush.