Ten Things to Say to Your Neighbors When They Catch Your Dog Crapping on Their Lawn

  1. 1.
    "Good for the flowers, right?"
  2. 2.
    "A couple of days of rain will wash that right out."
  3. 3.
    "He's asserting his dominance. He senses your weakness, and frankly so do I."
  4. 4.
    "They say that dog waste prevents hauntings."
    Prove me wrong
  5. 5.
    "Must be nice to do it out in the fresh air, amirite?"
  6. 6.
    "That's strange, the kennel said this breed was a non-pooping one."
  7. 7.
    "This will add an exciting sense of danger to your kids' Easter egg hunt."
  8. 8.
    "Curious … it's all just as the gypsy woman foretold."
  9. 9.
    "No, I won't tell you how we climbed the fence, and I'll thank you to stop asking."
  10. 10.