Requested by @Boogie
At the command of @Boogie, and who am I to argue.
  1. How my friends see me:
    Eeyore. Someone actually made this comparison once, probably because I'm mopey and fun to pick on.
  2. How I see myself:
    The Black Hole. A fearsome yet slightly boring force of nature. Not sure what's going on inside; could be science or magic or nothing.
  3. What I'm probably really like:
    Don Knotts's character in any number of movies (The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again, Hot Lead and Cold Feet, No Deposit No Return). Skinny, middle-aged, dorky, harmless, occasionally comical.