Thank you for this timely and important list request, @andersun !
  1. For those who don't know, Mölkky is the invigorating Finnish lawn entertainment system that is taking America by storm.
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  2. First, acquire an officially licensed Mölkky set or create your own bootleg set with woodworking tools and a grove of young trees.
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    For the production of homemade sets a beard is recommended but not required.
  3. The numbered Mölkky skittles are arranged upon the lawn in the formation shown below, as tightly grouped as possible.
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  4. Mark off a throwing distance of roughly nine to thirteen feet away, depending on the challenge desired.
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  5. The throwing skittle is then taken firmly in hand. The throwing skittle may only be thrown underhand.
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  6. Now chuck the throwing skittle at the other skittles! Just like the sick, twisted anarchist you are.
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    Overexcited mom not included.
  7. Look at the havoc and destruction you caused! You're really good at this! Score a point for each skittle you knocked down.
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    Skittles that are on top of or leaning on other skittles do not count.
  8. However, if you manage to knock down just one skittle, instead you score the number on the skittle.
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    Look at you! You're a superstar!
  9. The skittles are then stood back up wherever they landed—not back in the original formation.
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  10. Over time the skittles will get more and more spread out, requiring more skill and strategy.
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  11. Quite spread out indeed!
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    Like your mom
  12. But be careful! If you miss three times in a row you're out of the game!
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    No more Mölkky for you.
  13. The first player to hit EXACTLY fifty points is the winner!
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  14. But if you go past fifty points, your score drops back to twenty-five as a penalty, and you keep playing.
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    Boo!
  15. That's it! Now that you know how to play Mölkky, Why not try it today?
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    Three cheers for Finland!
  16. Bonus pic: Mölkky in action! My friend Erik goes for the gold.
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