1. My spare house key has gone missing
  2. Then my work ID went missing
  3. A pair of earrings is now missing
  4. I rarely lose things
  5. Then I noticed a fly in my house
  6. Then I noticed a mosquito as well
  7. So the only logical conclusion is
  8. Someone is trying to single white female/clone me with some sort of The Fly/Jurassic Park technology