Off the top of my head
  1. Yeah if she's so brilliant, why is she sitting in our neighbor's car?!
  2. You know you, you got a lovely family - and I'm a goddamn amalgam!
  3. A few months ago, Garry got his first boner. You know what that is? ... If memory serves.
  4. I wouldn't live with you if the world were flooded with piss and you lived in a tree!
  5. He likes to butt things with his head. ... How proud you must be.
  6. Keep Patty away from Larry - he'll suck the intelligence right out of her.
  7. Cool is adorable. Adorable! Why didn't you tell us you had a son?
  8. What does that make you, Sherlock Holmes? I live here!
  9. He's ruining the play! He's ruining the whole play!
  10. My retainer! I put it on the table in a napkin and now it's not here!
  11. Way to be supportive, Lou.
  12. [Re: balloon animals] Your lower intestines.
  13. Friends? Friends slow down, they even stop.
  14. Hydroponics is the growing of plants without soil.
  15. I give them them six months. Three if she cooks.
  16. You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, or drive a car. Hell, you need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.
  17. That was an electric ear cleaner. ... It was kind of big. ... It sure was!
  18. I was at Woodstock. ... Oh yeah? I thought you looked familiar!
  19. Julie, honey, I'm always here if you need me.
  20. Let's have five. Let's have six. Let's have a dozen and pretend they're donuts.