MY FAV QUOTES FROM THE MOVIE PARENTHOOD

Off the top of my head
  1. Yeah if she's so brilliant, why is she sitting in our neighbor's car?!
  2. You know you, you got a lovely family - and I'm a goddamn amalgam!
  3. A few months ago, Garry got his first boner. You know what that is? ... If memory serves.
  4. I wouldn't live with you if the world were flooded with piss and you lived in a tree!
  5. He likes to butt things with his head. ... How proud you must be.
  6. Keep Patty away from Larry - he'll suck the intelligence right out of her.
  7. Cool is adorable. Adorable! Why didn't you tell us you had a son?
  8. What does that make you, Sherlock Holmes? I live here!
  9. He's ruining the play! He's ruining the whole play!
  10. My retainer! I put it on the table in a napkin and now it's not here!
  11. Way to be supportive, Lou.
  12. [Re: balloon animals] Your lower intestines.
  13. Friends? Friends slow down, they even stop.
  14. Hydroponics is the growing of plants without soil.
  15. I give them them six months. Three if she cooks.
  16. You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, or drive a car. Hell, you need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.
  17. That was an electric ear cleaner. ... It was kind of big. ... It sure was!
  18. I was at Woodstock. ... Oh yeah? I thought you looked familiar!
  19. Julie, honey, I'm always here if you need me.
  20. Let's have five. Let's have six. Let's have a dozen and pretend they're donuts.