POSSIBLE REASONS MY LEFT BOOB ITCHES

  1. Sunday night-Monday Blues
  2. It's mad at me for not eating pizza in the last month and a half
  3. Seventh Generation detergent has MSG in it
  4. My body is perplexed that I wear sweaters in LA everyday
  5. Jealous of the right boob and acting out
  6. I'm allergic to salad
  7. I need to wash my sports bra more...or less
  8. I need to hand wash my classy Victoria's Secret bras more...or less
  9. My skin has developed an immunity to Anti-bacterial Cetaphil soap
  10. The next line in that Sia song is "I have thick skin and an elastic heart...and an itchy left boob."
  11. It excitedly senses Tim Riggins (I mean Taylor Kitsch)'s return to TV is imminent.