TIMES I THREATENED TO RUN AWAY FROM HOME

And meant it
  1. 1.
    If my mom made me go back to Steps for another dance class.
    This was in 2nd or 3rd grade. I was already a tomboy and showed up in orange sweatpants and a t-shirt and everyone else was wearing tutus. One of my future best friends was in that class and we still joke about it. My mom saw the look on my face when she came to pick me up and let me take Karate instead.
  2. 2.
    If my parents made me take another year of Latin.
    I am terrible at languages and was already taking French. The teacher was named Rolly Phillips and she rested her arm on her rotund belly. After 2 brutal years of taking it in middle school I demanded to be allowed to drop it. They probably let me only because I wasn't doing well anyway. I had a whole runaway plan: I was going to live at Katie Rappaport's house, under her bed, and she was going to feed me scraps of leftovers from dinner every night.