10 Easy Steps to become a middle class roadman

  1. 1.
    Cop a Ralph Lauren hat off depop
    Cop means buy (see number 5 for guidance)
  2. 2.
    Buy some shitty nike air max that look disgusting and post an insta of them immediately
    (if you don't post them on social media did you even buy them?)
  3. 3.
    Share at least one Link Up Tv post on Facebook a day to show you pay attention to up and coming grime
  4. 4.
    Purchase a palace shirt which has the logo of "addidas original" on it
    The irony being it has no originality because every other fucking middle class roadman also has one
  5. 5.
    Adopt the vernacular of Ali G and other notable roadman idols
    Stormzy, JME , Skepta ,
  6. 6.
    Learn all the words to the biggest grime anthems
    Including "That's not me" and " shut up"
  7. 7.
    Learn the real meaning of "peak" and know that it is a bad thing
    "didn't get tickets to stormzy concert ...bruv thats peak "
  8. 8.
    Find a friend or significant other who's garms(items of clothing) are similar to yours and also knows the top grime anthems
  9. 9.
    Anytime you go to a party be sure to get a photo and use the wave emoji to indicate you certainly indulge in recreational drugs
    #waved
  10. 10.
    Get daddy to pay for all of it cause " daddy's got bare dollar "
    (bare means alot )