15 Thoughts I Have When I Run Into My Step Mother at Target

My parents got divorced when I was in elementary school. My father was a cheating bastard and an unsavory individual. Today I ran into his new wife at Target.
  1. 1.
    Why the fuck is this women talking to me?
  2. 2.
    Oh my god, it's my step mother.
  3. 3.
    I haven't seen her since like my Junior year of high school.
    That's like, a solid five years.
  4. 4.
    Why is she coming closer to me?
    I'm not going to hug you, or leap into your arms, you step monster.
  5. 5.
    She's still taking. I'm paralyzed.
    Say something, Madison.
  6. 6.
    "Oh, hi?"
    Really, that's the best I have?
  7. 7.
    Why am I being polite to her?
    I assume it's cause I feel bad for her.
  8. 8.
    God, she married my biological father. He's a massive dick.
    He left two kids and a wife with no car, and $9. That's very tacky.
  9. 9.
    Ew, they have a child together, gross.
    I wonder what they'll tell the kid. "I met your mother when I was married to someone else, we got together anyways?" Classy.
  10. 10.
    Disengage, disengage
    "It was great to see you, have a good day." - I'm lying. It was not good to see you, and your dress is hideous.
  11. 11.
    That's it, walk to the check out Madison.
    Your real, and hot mother is politely calling you over. Is it wrong to be 21 years old and cling to your mothers legs?
  12. 12.
    Don't leave - they can't hurt you anymore.
  13. 13.
    You're a grown ass adult. Live your best life.
  14. 14.
    Proceed to drive home and throw up in your driveway.
  15. 15.
    Success.