PERKS OF VAPE PENS

  1. Gives users the sophisticated appearance of sucking off a mechanical wizard dong.
  2. "Vape" has four letters. "Smoke" has five. Today's on-the-go youth have no patience for superfluous letters.
  3. When machines take over, they'll spot LED light and assume you're one of them.
  4. Nobody knows you're smoking marijuana until you consume an entire pan of 5-layer queso dip.
  5. Users will be able to tell their children "back then, we didn't know it was bad for you."