An official, ranked list
  1. Bring a bike
    You chose your method of transportation of the day, now stick with it. Fuck you.
  2. Push their way into the car before the people already on the train have the chance to get out
    This will not get you to your destination faster. It accomplishes nothing positive for anyone. Fuck you.
  3. Manspread
    I have balls, I get overheated easily, and I've NEVER felt that keeping my knees together would put my balls at risk. Fuck you.
  4. Womanspread
    Equally irritating, but ranked lower than Manspreading because women are, in general, less awful then men. Fuck you.
  5. Stay put directly in front of the door regardless of whether or not other people are trying to get on or off the train
    Obviously excusable if you're on a crowded car with no other place to stand. Fuck you.
  6. Play cellphone games at full volume without headphones
    You'd miss NOTHING by playing Candy Crush without the sound effects. Fuck you.
  7. Bad "showtime"
    Good "showtime" is obviously fine. Fuck you.
  8. Stand directly in front of an empty seat on a crowded car
    You think you're being noble by not taking the seat? Guess what? You're also blocking anyone else from getting to the seat, because we're all packed in here like sardines unable to move, and now no one's happy, so you might as well just take the fucking seat. Fuck you.
  9. Die
    It severely delays service in both directions. Very selfish. Fuck you.