Lame Facts About Myself I'm Trying to Accept
This is who I am at 29, AND THAT'S OKAY.
- •I hate being out after 10pm.Except for maybe 2x a year. I don't understand the excitement people have for late nights out. I want to. I tried to get it in my early 20s. But by now I've accepted it's just not for me. At least not right now. So when we're out, and ten o'clock hits, you will watch before your very eyes as I turn into a grumpy fusspot despite my best efforts. Please don't take it personally.
- •I don't really care about self-maintenance.Beyond showering and brushing my teeth. Plucking eyebrows, maintaining or even acknowledging bikini lines, addressing overgrown bangs and roots, makeup... I just... I care, but not enough to actually schedule anything. I want to be one of those elegant women who always manages to look coiffed no matter the circumstance. But I'm not. My bangs are past my eyes right now. I have no plans to do anything about it. I want to work on this.
- •I love being alone.I used to worry about it, now at 29 I'm trying to just accept it as fact. Most days I'd sooner see no one. I'm an only child, and learned how to really enjoy me time. If I see two people socially in one week I am being wild. If I didn't like my career so much, I think Dev and I would probably Walden Pond it up, probably somewhere in the PNW.
- •I will hibernate many times a year.This means I will see no one (but Dev, obv). I will disappear and barely respond to emails or texts. I just get overstimulated by society and the idea if being around anyone makes my skin crawl. Usually my disappearances last between two weeks and three months. This makes me unreliable, but it's a necessary part of my self-care. People's feelings get hurt. I love my friends, and get ashamed and overwhelmed when my hibernation hurts their feelings. Then I push deeper into my human avoidance.
- •The older I get, the more I'm becoming a vegetarian.I want to want meat. Seafood, at least. I want to understand the excitement people feel over a hunk of steak or a beautiful tray of sushi. But I absolutely don't. There is one exception though: PROSCIUTTO FOR LIFE.
- •I will always be gassy.No matter my diet. Gas-X is no match for what my insides can create. I'M SORRY EVERYONE AROUND ME.
- •Regular exercise improves my mood.Uggggghhhhhh I wish this one weren't true.
- •I have low level anxiety.It's my baseline. Happiness and calm requires (and is worth) effort.
- •I need a lot of sleep.HOW DO SOME OF YOU SURVIVE ON 6-7 HOURS A NIGHT? Or less?!?!?! You're superhumans! I'm so jealous! This is me right now of 6.5 ➡️ I hate everything.
- •I am terrible at being honest about my needs with people who aren't Dev.I hate disappointing people. And my needs are usually to be a bad friend and hide from humanity or not come to your bustling party but I love you and thank you for the invite because some day I may be less lame and want to come. Instead I either don't respond or bail. People's feelings get hurt. And I hate hurting people's feelings. I want people to feel great about themselves and happy with life all the time. I need to be more proactively honest. Ugh.
- •I cannot watch sad films.Nope nope nope nope nope.
- •I will never get any taller than this.Step stools in kitchens forever!