Questions I Have I Don't Ask

  1. Does anyone have a trick for getting off a sweaty sports bra? Is this only excruciatingly hard for me?
  2. Do people think short people are inherently less elegant bc we were taught at a young age by Lord of the Rings...
    ...that hobbits and trolls are less attractive than humans and elves?
  3. Does every lady have a super manicured lady area? Even in long term relationships? How?
  4. How does one take a flattering photograph? Do you practice a lot in a mirror? CAN SOMEONE TEACH ME.
  5. How do you not immediately go back and regret every tweet older than two weeks?
    I get the same feeling when I read old diary entries as I do when reading old tweets. The anxiety is excruciating. Does everyone just love and accept themselves more than I do?
  6. What percentage of people, upon meeting me for the first time, have the urge to lift me (in an entirely non sexual way)?
  7. Does everyone get massive food babies by the end of every day? Or is mine more prominent due to my small size/gassiness
  8. Who's farting during sex? How many of you?