What I Do After I Learn I Got the Job...
- •Make out hardcore with my spouse.
- •Drink the celebratory cocktail he's made.
- •Call my madre, @heidigross
- •Call my padre-in-law, @fats. Kibitz about the singularity. Reference his aluminum hat.
- •Do some serious dancing in little more than long johns. Attempt to make Nicki Minaj proud. Shame Nicki Minaj.
- •More making out.
- •Accept my genetically small ass means I will always be a disappointment to Nicki Minaj. Try not to take it personally.
- •Hang with my agent, gossip, drink too much, start accidentally referring to job as West Wing.
- •Go to sleep before 11, feeling very tickled.