1. He's not going to text.
  2. You're probably going to die alone.
  3. Never mind, he texted!
  4. OK, play it cool. Don't give him too much.
  5. What if we get married?
  6. How do I say, 'Send a nude' without actually requesting a nude?
  7. I think we're flirting.
  8. We're so flirting.
  9. It's been a few minutes. I've been very funny. It's time to suggest a coffee date.
  10. There, I asked. Fuck, don't wait for the Apple dot dot dot...
  12. There's the dot dot dot.
  13. He has to ask his boyfriend.
  14. He probably has herpes anyway.
  15. 'We can be friends, right?' Uh, NO!
  16. I said we can be friends.
  17. We will never be friends.
  18. Where's my cat?