1. I would rather eat a slab of raw meat than listen to a baby cry
    I've been a vegetarian for 5 years
  2. If I had multiple children, I would definitely have a favorite
    Although, I believe that every parent probably does anyway. I don't buy into that whole "we love you all the same" bull shit. (probably because I'm definitely my parents favorite)
  3. The words "I don't know how I'll ever love a child more than I love my dog" leave my mouth probably more frequently than they should
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    In my defense my yellow is one of the most lovable creatures on the planet. But seriously, look at that little face 😍
  4. I really don't know how to talk to children
    We have nothing in common because they're too young to drink vodka.
  5. I get annoyed at how obsessed everyone is with them
    But Why? They can't even talk....
  6. Because I can barely afford to keep myself alive, let alone another human
  7. Because I enjoy my freedom too much
    Your life as you know it ends the day you have a child
  8. I often refer to children as parasites
    Both in and out of the womb 👾
  9. I don't think I'll ever be ready for childbirth
    Because it's gross. And the vanus is a real thing.