DEAR EMILY

A Letter to @evolkmann2, my @list Secret Santa
  1. Dear Emily,
    I spotted this in my mailbox today and initially thought it was a free sample of those THINX period panties everyone is talking about these days. I spent a hot second debating who I would gift them to before turning the envelope over to see it wasn't period panties at all. It was a gift from you! Even better.
  2. Thank you for splurging on the fancy mailing envelope.
  3. I pulled out the pile of presents you had packaged so neatly . . . .
  4. And went straight for the card. I couldn't wait to meet you!
    Thank you for your kind words about my lists. (And I felt a little creepy when reading my Secret Santa recipient's lists, too. I'm hoping you and I can follow each other and cast the creepiness elsewhere, like to that Krampus movie or those period panties.)
  5. Having read the card, I organized my loot.
    You nailed the color scheme. It couldn't be more perfect for me. Observe:
  6. My bedside lamp.
  7. My dining room chairs.
  8. My collection of cream and sugar bowls in my kitchen window.
  9. So, either:
    I'm basic and all basic girls like Tiffany blue, you've secretly peered into the windows of my house, OR we have similar tastes in serene color palettes.
  10. Did you draw this picture of @mindy? Because it's perfect.
    You're so talented!
  11. I recently saw Mindy Kaling speak at an event in San Francisco.
    If I'd had your drawing then, I'd have rushed the stage to show it to her. Of course, if she *really* liked it, I'd have lied and said I drew it and persuaded her to hire me to write for her show. (Sorry to do you that way, Em, but a girl's gotta lean in, you know? I'll name a character after you.)
  12. Between Evernote and the Notes app, I regularly access, use, and update 38 notes.
  13. Thanks to you, I now have a notebook bearing an ape in a Santa hat in which to record the kinds of things that don't belong in a single one of those 38 notes.
    Some words are meant for paper.
  14. I cheated my way to a C+ in pre-cal and feel fine about it. This magnet was made for me.
  15. Remember those 38 notes from earlier?
    One of them is called Six Things, and it contains my New Year's Resolutions for 2015. I've tackled exactly zero of them. With these Seeds of Resolution, which are designed to be written on and planted, something beautiful will grow from the promises I make to myself in 2016. Thank you for that powerful gift.
  16. Now: the final present.
  17. It's last for a reason.
  18. It's a pin featuring the great state of Ohio.
    Presumably sent because you're from Ohio.
  19. Are you ready for this?
  20. I'M FROM OHIO!
    Seriously. Look at these sweatshirts! They're mine!
  21. But, how can that be, you're wondering, given that you mailed my gift to Tennessee?
  22. I live in Nashville now but grew up about an hour from the zip code in your return address. You're near the amphitheater where I saw my first concert, the campus where I attended my first house party, and the highway where I got my first speeding ticket.
  23. I could fill a notebook bearing an ape in a Santa hat with my memories of Central Ohio, and now they include you, too.
  24. Thank you for my presents. I love them.
  25. .
  26. P.S. If you're still job hunting, find me on LinkedIn, and let's see who I can connect you with in Ohio.
  27. P.P.S. Thank you, @ChrisK, for organizing the (Unofficial) @list Secret Santa.
  28. P.P.P.S. Hey, @mindy, look at this cool picture I drew for you!