LIES I TOLD IN MIDDLE SCHOOL

  1. "I've seen Pulp Fiction."
    I hadn't seen Pulp Fiction. To make it extra believable, I name-checked the older sister of a classmate and specified a "favorite" scene that I'd overheard someone else talk about: "I went with Anya Robertson, and we laughed so hard when he shot that guy in the head!"
  2. "I didn't fart."
    Oh, I definitely farted. Jeff Brown was flirting with me in the hallway. He tickled me, and I farted. I said a stink bomb busted in my pocket. He didn't believe me.
  3. "I'm not wearing make up, Dad!"
    I was wearing make up. Amber Brown (no relation to Jeff) applied pink mascara to my lashes outside after lunch. I forgot to wash my face before I went home. My dad busted me and made me wash my face with a white washcloth. I swore I had "no idea" what the pink clumps were on the washcloth.