1. When my father was in his death bed, at age 97, he saw me reading the obits, and asked if he was in there.
  2. When I was in high school and trying to decide between a basketball and a football scholarship, my basketball coach said football is a great game, but the ball bounces funny
  3. After reaching puberty, my uncle told me to never go to bed without my socks on.
  4. Same uncle told me when you stop looking you stop living.
  5. My high school football coach told us girls would ruin us.
  6. My freshman college basketball coach told me I could screw up Adolph Rupp's team. I asked him who's Adolph Rupp?