Reasons Why The Poop Face Emoji Is Smiling 💩

Deep philosophical thoughts about why a pile of poop is smiling. Thanks to @quixotic for the help! I couldn't have done this without you. 😘
  1. It's happy to be birthed into the world.
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  2. It's mimicking the feeling you have after you have a bowel movement.
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    Once the poop has made it into this world, it realizes that it has sentience, that it's existence doesn't have to be long for this world, and it's smiles knowing that even in his short span on earth, that it's existence was a happy one.
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    Or, after the poops realizes it has sentience, it then discovers that it only has two anatomical features on its tiny brown body: a pair of eyes and a mouth. To its horror, the poop discovers that these two features are forever locked in place, constantly smiling, constantly staring, and he wonders: will I die? Please let me die.
  5. It's magic, the poop knows that, we know that, how else could a brown little fella like that smile? If magic is real, wouldn't we all be a *little* happy too?
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  6. The poop can't begin to understand it's existence because of limited, or no, brain functionally. No existential despair, no worries, just an unassuming smile, a take-on-the-world grin, and only a precious few minutes of life left. Ignorance is bliss my friends, and it knows that all too well, well, actually, it doesn't.
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  7. It was birthed in front of a screen and the first thing it's little eyes gazed upon were the extended cuts of LotR.
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  8. It's happy. Just happy. It doesn't have to be, it chooses to be. Is that too hard to believe? Poop can find happiness if I can.
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  9. It knows that I'm going to stop talking about it in this way, for only it knows the secrets of the universe, what poop nirvana is, and for me, a trifle human, to even try and comprehend that, is of the highest of insults; it's more than happy for me to shut up now.
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