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Not to sound too lonely. Apologies in advance because this one is depressing.
- •I am the only child of an only child.
- •I grew up in a neighborhood with very few other kids.
- •And I was a latchkey kid. Both parents worked (most years) and I would come home to an empty house. So I had to learn how to:
Not everything has to be a paradigm shift.
- •When I hoped I'd live long enough to see all the Lord of the Rings movies.
- •When I hoped beyond hope that I would live long enough to see all 50 state quarters.
All done by me today. I am the worst.
- •Before the meal, pull your shirt up and undulate your stomach. When asked why, say that you're making room.
- •Talk about fantasy football as soon as everyone is seated.
- •No-one is talking politics? Time to drop ISIS into a random conversation. I can't help myself.
- •Am I getting lazier or running out of creative ideas?
- •Can't it be both?
It's the most wonderfuuul time of the year.
- •Can't hear boring anecdotes over the sound of my own sneezing.
- •Much easier to fit in my catch phrase three times a day: "Why don't you make like a tree and leaf."
- •Autumnal equinox - 'Nuff said.
Everybody's working for the weekend. Sigh.
- •Get in the door and sit down. Oops, computer needs to be rebooted. Oops, I changed my password yesterday. Cycle through four different programs that don't work without manually changing the password as they pop up over top of each other.
- •Get up and wander into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. Door alarm chimes so I stop to investigate. Expecting outside clients to show up any minute.
- •Make the pot of coffee and return to my desk. Oh look, I.T. reset our file server yesterday and all my links are broken. Send out a help desk ticket.
We aren't coordinated people or particularly careful, and we have the medical bills to prove it. I will limit this list to three generations. @dudleyjoshua This is for you.
- •Driving a riding lawnmower into a canal.
- •Falling out of a tree.
- •Cutting off their big toe with a lawnmower.
Everyone's favorite actor.
- 1.Beastmaster - priest who performs human sacrifices on top of a burning ziggurat. What's not to love?
- 2.Dodgeball - dodge, dip, dive, duck, and dodge. Drinks his own pee 'cause he likes the taste.
- 3.Summer rental - pirate who owns a fish restaurant. Very salty role.
- 4.Freddie Got Fingered - loses all dignity and pulls his pants down in front of his son at one point yelling over and over, "Do it. Do it." I hope he got paid.
It was about bonding.
- •Sorry - I.e. How to get your family and friends to hate you.
- •Monopoly - no, wait. This one is how to get your family and friends to hate you.
- •Parcheesi - when you are bored of Monopoly. Your family is gonna hate you so be warned.
I like a good beat and foreign melody, having grown up on Greek records my dad brought home from the navy. Somehow this evolved into listening to anything and everything I can get my hands on with no preconceptions. Now people give me funny looks when they hear me listening to, among others:
- •Music from Baghdad recorded in the 1920s.
- •Music from the Congo involving lots of drumming and high pitched whistle blowing.
- •Russian pop music.