A CONTRARIAN'S GUIDE TO THE UNIVERSE

Be an individual.
  1. 1.
    Dislike anything that becomes popular. Any band, movie, garment, type of food that you used to like becoming too mainstream? Now it's odious. Pizza is for sheep.
  2. 2.
    Happy endings are horrible. Who wants to be happy? Nicholas Sparks to a respectable contrarian is like garlic to a vampire.
  3. 3.
    Technology. Everyone's walking around with iPhones and Droids. Now the hipsters think it's funny to use clamshell phones. No. You are smarter than them all. You only use pay phones. No pay phones near by? Then you only communicate with mailed postcards.
  4. 4.
    Stop lights. Red means stop? Green means go? No. Do whatever you want. Don't conform to "their" world system. Dents on a car are just character marks.
  5. 5.
    Constantly be negative. If anyone asks your opinion, paint as dark a picture as possible. People will love it, even if things seem otherwise. Everyone secretly likes conflict. Keep it up player!
  6. 6.
    You want to be in a relationship? No-one will ever get the real you. Establish a relationship with a good Japanese body pillow and stock up on microwave dinners for one.