LESSONS LEARNED FROM WATCHING FIREWALKER

It's a random day in 1995. I turn on the tv, dial up TBS, and flop onto the couch.
  1. Watching tv is a total waste of time. Will internalize after this is over.
  2. Karate beats guns.
  3. Karate beats armed Aztec? warriors.
  4. Treasure doesn't belong in a museum. It belongs in my bank account!
  5. Snakes are cool.
  6. But not as cool as eyepatches.
  7. Chuck Norris is totally not racist.
  8. If you're going to rip off a movie, you could do worse than Indiana Jones. Brendan Fraser is nodding his head.