ODD WAYS MY FAMILY HAS BEEN INJURED

We aren't coordinated people or particularly careful, and we have the medical bills to prove it. I will limit this list to three generations. @dudleyjoshua This is for you.
  1. Driving a riding lawnmower into a canal.
  2. Falling out of a tree.
  3. Cutting off their big toe with a lawnmower.
  4. Kicked in the head by a mule. The only fatality.
  5. Falling off the back of a truck. Took a year in the hospital to recover.
  6. Spine crushed by a hydraulic washing machine. Don't ask because in the fifteen years since it happened I still don't quite understand. Severe nerve damage.
  7. Hit on the head with a flat head shovel. Now my dad has a flat head on the top of his skull and a giant corresponding bald spot.
  8. My foot fell asleep and I took a step and broke it. Zzz compared to the rest of this list.
  9. Foot run over by a car. Two separate times. Same person. Same foot.
  10. Shot in the eye with a rubberband. A week in the hospital on bed rest, but the eye was saved.
  11. Shot in the eye with a bow and arrow. No saving this one. A glass eye is way less cool than an eye patch.
  12. And the topper: grandfather mechanic with head down in the cockpit of a fighter plane. Crazy man sneaks onto the grounds of the military base, comes upon my grandfather working, and bites a chunk out of his ear.