SECRETS TO A GREAT THANKSGIVING

All done by me today. I am the worst.
  1. Before the meal, pull your shirt up and undulate your stomach. When asked why, say that you're making room.
  2. Talk about fantasy football as soon as everyone is seated.
  3. No-one is talking politics? Time to drop ISIS into a random conversation. I can't help myself.
  4. Be the first person to quit the family board game. Sorry. I forgot how long Parcheesi takes to play.
  5. Duck out of the family movie. The good theater is sold out. Yeah, I'm not going to the third best local theater. Nah.