I want to believe.
  1. Paul from the Wonder Years and Marilyn Manson are the same person after all. After years of denying it, Marilyn removed a prosthetic mask and said one word. "Gotcha."
  2. The pyramid on the back of the dollar bill does lead to our national treasure. The only catch: there's only enough candy corn in Mt. Rushmore for one person.
  3. 9-11 never happened in most of the world. They list the day first, then the month. Sorry 11-9! Maybe next time.
  4. Darth Vader wasn't Luke Skywalker's father. He never attended a single birthday party or graduation ceremony. That's not what I'd call a father. Not like Chewbacca.
  5. Contrary to popular belief, the world did technically end in 2012. When we were forced to watch John Cusack outrace cataclysm after cataclysm at the box office, the lizard people couldn't cope with our collective awakening and were forced to install a new version of the matrix.
  6. Eggs are very healthy foods to eat. Oh, you rascally scientists!