A Smattering of Things You Can Bet Your Sweet Bippy I Won't Stand For.

  1. Hitting a woman.
    Who's not your wife, especially.
  2. Russkies
    The Russians, not the movie.
  3. Some flim-flam salesman thinks he can sell me Encyclopedia Britannica.
    The nerve.
  4. Backsass.
  5. Another darn television message about laundry detergent.
  6. A scuff on my wingtips.
  7. All this talk about women's liberation.
    If they wanted more responsibility, they would have asked for it by now. I don't see any broads hankering to get onto the battlefield.
  8. This Elvis Presley character and his shakin' hips.
  9. The price of midtown prostitutes in the city.
    Do ya think I'm just some country bumpkin, fella?
  10. Whoever left the jump rope on the lawn, but I think we all know who it was.
    Don't we, Sally?
  11. Lima beans.
    For crying out loud, Carol, do you need me to write it out for you on the grocers list? NO LIMA BEANS EVER.