I visit my grandma every Sunday, and I've picked up on some of her linguistic tendencies. Here is the varsity squad of her most common idioms and such:
  1. I'll box your ears
    Definition: I'll punish you, I'll get you, you'll pay, etc.
  2. Colder than a titches wit
    Definition: It is very cold, comparable to the temperature of a witches nipple (never got this one, still makes me laugh)
  3. Gordon!
    Definition: Grandpa has done something terribly wrong, and is about to pay
  4. Diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the brain
    Definition: Someone said something grandma doesn't agree with or like
  5. I'm going to check the weather
    Definition: I'm going to smoke half a box of menthols
  6. More to come after I hang out with her again
  7. I've got CRS
    Definition: Can't remember shit
  8. Putting the make on
    Definition: When I asked grandma what this one meant, she replied "trying to get in someone's pants."