Words or Phrases My Grandmother Says
I visit my grandma every Sunday, and I've picked up on some of her linguistic tendencies. Here is the varsity squad of her most common idioms and such:
- •I'll box your earsDefinition: I'll punish you, I'll get you, you'll pay, etc.
- •Colder than a titches witDefinition: It is very cold, comparable to the temperature of a witches nipple (never got this one, still makes me laugh)
- •Gordon!Definition: Grandpa has done something terribly wrong, and is about to pay
- •Diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the brainDefinition: Someone said something grandma doesn't agree with or like
- •I'm going to check the weatherDefinition: I'm going to smoke half a box of menthols
- •More to come after I hang out with her again
- •I've got CRSDefinition: Can't remember shit
- •Putting the make onDefinition: When I asked grandma what this one meant, she replied "trying to get in someone's pants."