Ambivalence About Bumpers

I'm on the fence.
  1. At first I was very excited about a new social medium where I could interact with my list friends.
    It was so much fun to hear the real voices of people I care about yet knew only from their written words.
  2. I loved the opportunity to hear people sing, laugh, and talk to each other.
  3. At first I thought I would just listen, enjoying what others say, but not speaking myself.
    I am somewhat self-conscious of my slow and hesitant speech that was once quick and sharp like a typical northeast Jersey girl.
  4. But I quickly realized I was among my list friends after all, and I published my first few podcasts.
    And of course everyone was kind and sweet to me because you always are.
  5. I was afraid speaking to everyone would affect my ability to stay completely authentic.
    I was afraid that the closer it got to real life, the more I would slip into avoiding difficult subjects, worrying my opinions my hurt someone's feelings, and staying away from controversy.
  6. I'm still afraid this previous item might be the case.
    I struggle to find anything to create a podcast about. I tried stories but I remember them sporadically. Since drafts were removed, I start lists on Notes and add to them as I get more ideas. Then I copy and paste when I am ready. I realize I can do this with Bumpers, too, but it just seems different with the spoken word.
  7. I find the comments on Bumpers hard to sort out, probably because my mental skills are aging out.
    With written lists it's easy to see what list the comments refer to.
  8. I do feel self-conscious listening to my speech now. I was an eloquent speaker most of my adult life. The decline is so obvious to me. It's almost frightening.
    If I knew something about a subject, I could speak about it extemporaneously and people would think it was prepared in advance. I could teach a subject I knew without notes and it would be logical, easy to understand, and engaging. I could reach people who had previously struggled with a concept. I am sorry for being so egotistical, but it is to illustrate my difficulty hearing my hesitant, lifeless, flat speech.
  9. So I am not sure Bumpers is for me.
    I like to participate, not remain passive. Just listening doesn't feel like the right fit for me. Yet I am not enjoying making the podcasts.
  10. I'm worried people will not list much. I love you guys and I hope you stay here even if you like Bumpers better.
    But I get that everything changes rapidly now, and young people usually embrace new media long before I do.
  11. So I'm not totally giving up on Bumpers. I still have a foot in both apps. Well, maybe I'm dipping a toe in Bumpers anyway.
    See you mostly here, and maybe a little bit there. ❤️