How wonderful you all are, sending me love when I needed it most. This list does mention depression and suicide but also love and gratitude
  1. I was extremely depressed a few days back. Close to suicidal but not quite there
  2. And unfortunately the pain in my legs was also especially bad
  3. Topping it off I developed intense pain down my right arm from my shoulder to my thumb. My spine surgeon warned me a few years ago that other areas of my spine would likely deteriorate in the future. It seems that if your spine is stiffening and crumbling from arthritis that it tends to continue over time.
  4. I didn't think it would happen so soon
  5. So burning pain in three of my four limbs unrelieved by my medications was more than I could take.
  6. So I did what I have done a few times before- I wrote a list about it.
    Because I just feel like all my husband never hears about are my problems. He's great about it but I can sense how stressful it is for him. Especially because he can't do anything to make it better except be there. It's enough but he feels inadequate.
  7. And so many of you wonderful members of the community rallied to my side
  8. The love I received was so beautiful, sweet, kind and in such volumes I became overwhelmed with emotion
  9. Tears flowed down my face, gratitude coursed through my soul, and my heart was warm and saturated with love
  10. I desperately wanted to thank each person and yet I was unable because I am right-handed and my arm was useless
  11. And then Faith (@musesofamustardseed) wrote another list asking people to send me love and you sent another overwhelming wave of loving kindness my way
  12. I was struggling too much to get back on here for awhile
  13. I tried but not being able to comment was depressing so I didn't really get my spirit up and my arm rested enough to come back until now
  14. My husband brought me up to the mountains past Kenosha Pass in Colorado to our friends's home for a few days hoping distraction and a change of scenery might help
  15. Well it did help! I rested my arm here and got out on the porch in the mountain air
  16. And our friend is like family so much that even though his wife didn't come on his trip here to get some work done (their main home is in NY State) I can be in pain or cry in front of him and he will sit with us and hand me a tissue
  17. So now I have finally made this list to attempt to thank you all from the depths of my heart and soul
  19. I LOVE YOU! ❤️💜💖💙💚💛❤️💜💖💙💚💛
  20. I am worried I might have missed someone. If I did it was completely unintentional.