Things you stop worrying about when you're my age
I am the official Old Lady of Li.st
- •I don't worry about fashion anymoreI'm not wearing anklets and sneakers with house dresses yet, but I certainly don't care about what's current. I really care mostly about comfort.
- •I don't worry about being "up" on thingsNo I am not totally out of touch. If I watch an awards show I know some of the songs, or the movies, or the TV shows. But I certainly don't know all or even most of them. And I'm really not up on a lot of the popular TV shows anymore. I just want to watch things to learn or to escape from the pain that I experience.
- •I don't worry about being enoughI am who I am. I've done as much self growth as I can but now I'm settled on just being who I am at this point. I have many flaws and I accept them. I know what my strengths are and I gave freely of them for many years. I still do whenever I can. I'm sort of in that one day at a time phase of life.
- •I gave up hiding my mental illnessI've suffered from depression my whole life. I also used to suffer from anxiety but that has been controlled with medication. So now I just accept that I'm going to be episodically in a dark hole. If one of these times I don't make it out of the dark it's really OK. My life is basically done anyway. I might live for many more years but I actually hope not because I suffer from a great deal of pain.
- •I rarely argue with anybody anymoreThere's no point. If people are arguing they're angry. If they're angry they are not going to listen. So I just wait it out until the person who's arguing gets it out of their system. I just choose not to participate anymore.
- •I don't try to impress anyone anymoreThere was a time where I always wanted to make a good impression. I wanted to look good to others. Now I focus a lot more on being good. Honestly I just don't care that much anymore if people don't like me or if I don't make a good impression. As long as I feel I am being true to myself and what I really believe I feel OK.
- •I'm not worried about getting ahead or succeedingI'm permanently disabled. It's the equivalent of being retired because I can't work anymore. I loved being a nurse. I had professional certifications to keep up, new evidence-based techniques I needed to know about, seminars, and journals and I did do all that. As the director of clinical education for a hospital I needed to be on top of everything. I thought I would miss it more but the main thing I miss is taking care of others instead of being on the receiving side
- •I don't worry about timeI used to always be aware of what day of the week it was, what day of the month it was, what time it was, and so on. Now I couldn't tell you the day of the week without looking at my phone. The only thing different about weekends is that everything is more crowded.
- •I'm not hiding much anymoreWhen you're working and raising a family you want everything to be good for them. You don't want to reveal anything that might be perceived as "bad" that might somehow negatively impact them. So you hide things like mental illness, or your fears, or your weaknesses. Sometimes you don't admit outside of your family and close friends the mistakes that you've made. When your child is a middle-aged you know you don't have to worry about it anymore. You're the old lady now. But we all have secrets.
- •There are some things I miss about being young but that's another li.st!