What I want (for when I die)
- •Wakes and funerals are for the living, so once I have died it doesn't really matter to me what my husband or daughter decide to do. But I know no matter which one of them it turns out to be, they will handle it better if they know what I would want.
- •My husband and I took a 3-credit course about Death and Dying during our bachelor's degree program in health education. We learned about customs and rituals related to in various cultures and religions, practices in the US, and went on filed trips to a crematorium and a funeral home where learned about cremation and embalming.Once I learned the differences between the processes and costs of cremation vs. embalming, it was clear to me that cremation was the best choice. It's cheaper, cleaner, and more convenient for your survivors. My husband also prefers to cremation. We made sure our daughter knows our preferences.
- •Once I'm cremated my husband or daughter can bury me if they want, put me in an urn or something on the mantle or in a closet, or scatter my ashes somewhere. I will leave that choice up to them. I like the second and third options better.Scattering my ashes would be the easiest, cheapest, and most final choice. They pick up the box, take the ashes somewhere, scatter them, and they're done. The urn or some other container is another relatively cheap & easy method. Instead of scattering the ashes,they keep them at home somewhere. This is a good option if they feel like they would want to visit me now and then like people visit cemeteries. I suggested to my husband if he chose this one he could decorate my urn for various holidays
- •I don't quite get the idea of having someone cremated and then paying for a burial plot to bury the container of ashes. But if my husband or daughter want to choose that option, I am fine with their choice.
- •This is the first list I wrote about death a while back. Playlist for my Wake. My husband is 100% Irish and is accustomed to large wakes with lots of reminiscing and crying followed by a dinner with lots of food and drinks that turns into a party-like atmosphereThe funeral service in his family is attended only by family and is more serious, but it's also followed by a party. I wrote the playlist to assist my husband during the wake so he could talk about me, cry, and share his grief with whoever is there, yet feel as if a little piece of me stayed behind to help him. When I read the list to him he was very moved.
- •My second list related to death was a request from @christine14932 Reasons I wasn't afraid of getting older. It's not really about death per se, but my take on the request was not that it's not growing old that people fear, but rather they fear dying.
- •If my husband or daughter wants to have flowers, religious stuff, a memorial service, books for people to sign, or any other rituals at my wake or funeral they can do whatever makes them comfortable. After all, it's really for them.My consciousnesses, my spirit, the essence of who I am, will have already crossed over to another universe or multiverse. My spirit will return to a safer place next time.