THE CRAPPY JOBS I HELD
I had a lot...I do not believe this list is 100% complete. I can't remember some of them.
- •Security GuardI guarded a construction site for a convention center. I was asked to leave because I got stoned with the other guard and we crashed the golf cart after launching it over a ramp we made.
- •Movie Theater Projectionist/UsherThis was the best crappy job I ever had. I used to run the projector for a movie theater. This job is where I fell in love with movies and storytelling.
- •Factory WorkerI worked at a company called Airfoil Textron. They machined airfoils for plane turbines. My job was to change the oil in every machine. I would travel the length of a 100 yard factory with a gallon milk jug cut in half. I would use the jug to scoop oil from the machine drain pan. Then I would do it again and again.
- •Production AssistantI worked on several shows. My most memorable was being a "geek wrangler" for Ashton Kutcher's "Beauty and the Geek". I controlled every movement of those geeks. They even had to ask me to come let me out of their hotel rooms. So much power.
- •Bartender at Wolfgang Puck'sThis was my second favorite crappy job. I learned about drinking at this job. Over my tenure there, I met Wolfgang for the first time about 20 times.
- •Catering Delivery DriverI drove one of these for a catering company. Terrible job. Just terrible. I now hate rich people because of this job.
- •Sold T-shirts at ConcertsGot to see The Rolling Stones at the Hollywood Bowl for free!
- •Stilt Walker for paradesWhen I was a lot more svelte I walked stilts for parades. As I walked through crowds, drunk women would grab my junk all the time. True story.
- •I co-created the character of Igor for Universal Studios OrlandoI got paid to dress up like Igor and create bits to warm up the audience of the Beetlejuice Graveyard Revue. What a great gig. I actually think this is my second favorite.
- •Apartment Manager
- •Warehouse worker
- •Lawn care worker