THE CRAPPY JOBS I HELD

I had a lot...I do not believe this list is 100% complete. I can't remember some of them.
  1. Security Guard
    I guarded a construction site for a convention center. I was asked to leave because I got stoned with the other guard and we crashed the golf cart after launching it over a ramp we made.
  2. Movie Theater Projectionist/Usher
    This was the best crappy job I ever had. I used to run the projector for a movie theater. This job is where I fell in love with movies and storytelling.
  3. Factory Worker
    I worked at a company called Airfoil Textron. They machined airfoils for plane turbines. My job was to change the oil in every machine. I would travel the length of a 100 yard factory with a gallon milk jug cut in half. I would use the jug to scoop oil from the machine drain pan. Then I would do it again and again.
  4. Production Assistant
    I worked on several shows. My most memorable was being a "geek wrangler" for Ashton Kutcher's "Beauty and the Geek". I controlled every movement of those geeks. They even had to ask me to come let me out of their hotel rooms. So much power.
  5. Bartender at Wolfgang Puck's
    This was my second favorite crappy job. I learned about drinking at this job. Over my tenure there, I met Wolfgang for the first time about 20 times.
  6. Catering Delivery Driver
    I drove one of these for a catering company. Terrible job. Just terrible. I now hate rich people because of this job.
  7. Sold T-shirts at Concerts
    Got to see The Rolling Stones at the Hollywood Bowl for free!
  8. Stilt Walker for parades
    When I was a lot more svelte I walked stilts for parades. As I walked through crowds, drunk women would grab my junk all the time. True story.
  9. I co-created the character of Igor for Universal Studios Orlando
    I got paid to dress up like Igor and create bits to warm up the audience of the Beetlejuice Graveyard Revue. What a great gig. I actually think this is my second favorite.
  10. Telemarketer
  11. Apartment Manager
  12. Warehouse worker
  13. Lawn care worker
  14. McDonalds