THINGS I DIDN'T GET FOR MY BIRTHDAY

Today was my birthday. Here's a list of some of the things I did not get.
  1. Superpowers
    Really thought this would be the birthday I woke up with at least one superpower. Didn't happen. Maybe next year.
  2. A Ferrari
    I don't even want one but it's the thought that counts.
  3. A Puppy
    Didn't get a pony either.
  4. A Card from my Ex-wife
    To be fair I didn't get her one.
  5. Kidnapped by Aliens
    I guess you can't kidnap the willing.
  6. A Pirate Ship
    Or anything pirate-related at all for that matter.
  7. Kissed
    I'm just kidding. I got a kiss.