CHAPTER TITLES FOR THE BOOK ABOUT MY LIFE

With an introduction written in that ink you can't see unless you have the decoder marker.
  1. I was awkwardly born
    When we were born (I'm a twin), my sister nudged out prefect and ready and I holed up and got caught in my belly button cord. Then I tried to squeeze out shoulder first. The doctors didn't like any of it.
  2. I spent some time being exceptional
    When I was about three and in the tub with my sister, my mother screamed so hysterically that my older sister came in and slapped her in the face. I had a strange rash all over my body that appeared in swirls and patterns. They put me in a plastic tent across from another anomaly named Michael. I was cured with antibiotics.
  3. I don't remember anything
    I gave my memory to my sister. She knows everything that happened. I kind of blacked out for most of childhood until middle school, which I call 'the dark years'.
  4. The Dark Years
    My mom was MIA and I'd had my period for three years, before any other gal I knew. I replicated the roles my mother and sisters represented in my life by participating in the drama of a friend clique. I've practiced this way of life for thirty years now.
  5. Driving
    Singing and driving and band camp and show choir saved my f-ing life.
  6. The Exes
    My boyfriends start senior year of high school and mark my life up until now. I'm married and we have a house and the best cat in the world and are getting a dog this spring. I scored big time.
  7. Health
    Before the hippies and after the haze of college, I met some spiritual people who introduced wisdom to my life, I've been trying not hard enough to live up to them.
  8. Four years till 40
    As yet to be written...