HOW TO DEAL WITH ARRIVING AT WORK AFTER DOWNLOADING THE NEW RIHANNA ALBUM

A Primer
  1. Say hi to everyone like normal
    While desperate inside because you only got to track three.
  2. Turn on your laptop and realize you have an appointment in ten minutes
    Switch brain from discovering Rihanna is your spirit animal to making sure you're actually at work on Friday morning trying to remember what your main job functions are
  3. Suddenly grasp that you can plug your phone into your laptop and use those speakers
    Have a glimpse of hope, quickly dashed when you know in your heart that you won't be able to absorb the full effect of the songs because ultimately you're a workaholic and once you get going you can't stop
  4. Resolve to take a long lunch and the long way home in order to listen to the album in its entirety
    And be humbled by the knowledge that you'll Tweet and List about it later