Thanks for the request @dad3 but I'm blaming you if this leads to another divorce list. 😯
  1. 1 Regret
    Not asking out Stacy Novikoff in high school. I had a crush on her sophomore through senior year, and could never bring myself to act on it. It's the only time I've been too nervous/shy/scared to make a move. I made a point to get her number at grad night but then I never called that summer before I went off to college. I met my wife when I was 27, the last time I talked to Stacy Novikoff I was 17, I'm not saying she would've been "miss right" but she could've been "miss summer of '99." 😏
  2. 1 Moment of Pride
    My friends have a beach volleyball tournament every summer and a beer pong tournament every Christmas. My family has croquet tournament every thanksgiving. In 2009 I won all 3! I got to keep all 3 🏆 in my apartment and look at them every morning before I'd leave for work and every night when my roommate and I were just hanging out. There isn't anybody I get more joy being around or competing against than my friends and family, and for one glorious year I was the undisputed king of the hill!
  3. 1 Goal
    Live forever! I know you don't believe me but I think I can do it. I mean, I've done it so far. All I really need is enough money to keep up with all the technological and medical advances that are sure to happen in the next fifty years. Or... meet a vampire.
  4. 1 Dream
    For Keira Knightley to share her tater tots with me. COURTING KEIRA
  5. Fantasy, part 1: A New Hope
    Her Dudeness is cleaning in a sexy French maid type outfit and I'm having a beer, watching the game. She comes over to clean the tv with the feather duster and bends over right in front of me, her dress is just short enough that I can tell she's not wearing underwear. I smack her ass, she says "stop it, I'm trying to clean!" I smack her ass again and say "I'm trying to get dirty 😏." She says "fine, go in the bedroom, I'll meet you there." To be continued...
  6. Fantasy, part 2: Beckett Strikes Back
    I get one foot through the doorway and my legs get kicked out from under me! I'm face down on the floor with my arms pinned behind my back. I hear the clicks of handcuffs around my wrist and a voice I recognize but can't quite place says "you don't smack a woman's ass without permission!" "@saytrumbo ?" I say, "did I just get Trumbo'd? This fantasy is legit!" "Who's Trumbo?" She spins me over, sits on my chest, I look up and Stana Katic says "Now you're going to have to watch." To be continued..
  7. Fantasy, part 3: Return of the Wifey
    Stana Katic ties me to a chair in the corner of the bedroom. Her Dudeness walks in, no longer wearing the French maid dress, or anything else. They embrace and... If Any of the Following People Were Naked in My Bed With ME Right Now I Would. Not. Mind. 🔥